My husband is a HUGE stickler about money; he always has been. Now, a few months ago he lost tons of hours at his work to do layoffs and I don’t make all that much to begin with. He gets these bright ideas to start small buisnesses and such all the time and thinks he is just supposed to run with them. Anyhow, he got a bright idea to start this website with coupons and discounts and such and found a guy to make the website for $160. Well, after he brought this to my attention a few weeks ago, I never heard anything about it. Now, up to date…we just had to take hundreds of dollars from MY parents just to live and get through Christmas. We discussed that there would be no extras…just us getting through Christmas and all that. Also, he claimed like a week ago we couldn’t even go grocery shopping because we were out of money (we did finally go the other day..on my mom’s dime) But, I felt something was going on so I checked his email (he DOES NOT know I have his password). I find out today he went and met with the website guy and paid him $40 dollars to get started on this site!!! Then, he calls me and lies about where he is because he obviously doesn’t want me to know that he is spending money on this. I am hurt and angry that he just lies about this so easily. What should I do??? I don’t want him to know I checked his email, but why should he get away with this? I seriously feel like leaving!!!
I do understand that he is probably doing this to better OUR lives, but why lie??? He could have sat down with me and discussed this. I have a feeling he’s lied about more when it comes to money…
Oil up the pistol and ask him what’s up.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Oil up the pistol and ask him what’s up.
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Obviously you have to confront him with the truth, however, you will also need to come clean with how you were able to provide the evidence. Two wrongs don’t make a right, he is dishonest and you are a snoop. He has obviously given you good reason not to trust him. Not a good situation. Good luck.
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I can’t imagine why he’d feel the need to lie to a person that hacks his e-mail. Can you?
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A $40 lie is not worth leaving him over. You are probably just stressed because you are being forced to borrow money from your mom during the holidays.
I think that you should ask him about his business idea. Say "I was thinking about your idea about (whatever). Have you put any more thought into it?"
Open the door for conversation and see if he admits that he HAS been working on this small business idea. Maybe it’s a Christmas surprise for you.
I guess what I’m basically saying is: you can get information without having to admit that you know his password.
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confront him and if he doesn’t like what you have to say, then leave. That is some BS and should not be tolerated on any level. I don’t care what it is. He KNOWS he is in the wrong from the beginning. Maybe you should just leave?? Men are seriously so stupid to think that wives will keep on staying while they continue to screw everything up! I bet he changes his freggin mind to after you’ve been gone a few days. Put his butt in the dog house for about a week and see if he doesn’t shape up. If he doesn’t, ship him off.
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He’s always been this way! I dont think his gonna change either… but you married him and knowing this little info and still you vowed through thick and thin!!
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Don’t tell him what you did, just give him an ultimatum. He has three months to grow the HELL up and get a REAL job (even if that’s pushing brooms or flipping burgers) and stop with the "get rich quick/be your own boss" scheme, or he’s going to have to borrow from HIS family to pay a divorce lawyer.
You SHOULD feel like leaving. You should also have your OWN full time job so that you can provide for yourself. I hope there aren’t kids involved, but if there are, you should have been rid of him already.
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Girl you need to ask him about that. It’s affecting the house hold and it shouldn’t. Don’t let him know you know just be like the website guy called about the appointment the other day. Wait till after the holidays and leave him. Right there with his website
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Well, we are in a bad money situation as well.. but my husband went and used a credit card that I don’t check on. We are already in debt and trying to get out. He knows this. Anyway, in the month of November he actually spent over $400 on himself, basically buying anything his little heart desired. And he lied about it, too. I don’t ever get to buy ANYTHING for myself, because money is so tight. So I know exactly where you are coming from. Here I was thinking everything was fine, things were going well, and all of a sudden everything is a lie. I felt so stupid for not realizing until a month later
He should NOT get away with this. You’re his wife, and I honestly believe that husbands and wives should have 100% access to every password. I don’t know about you, but I would not be able to keep my mouth shut. It’s not fair to anyone. If I were you I would tell him that you know about him spending the money and straight up tell him it was selfish. On his behalf… he may have honestly thought that he would make that money back and then some with his great idea :/ It still gave him no right to lie about it though. And believe me… you’d be amazed how easily men can lie when they don’t wanna get caught. It made me sick knowing that he was going out to eat basically every day with his buddies.. but then I realized I supposedly always know where he is. So there is no telling how many times he just lied and didn’t think anything of it. Oh… and btw I found that out on my birthday, and he didn’t buy me anything while he was digging us further into debt buying video games
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Is it possible that he is trying to start this new business to make a better life for you all? I’m not condoning his lies, but it could be worst. He could have been using money on drugs,alcohol or another woman. Talk to him about it and try to be understanding. Have a wonderul holiday!!!!
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It is Christmas… Maybe he wants 2 get u something, i understand u r struggling with the cash, but maybe it’s a pride thing (being able to get u something)
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